Saturday, November 5, 2011

Get the Best Man Ever

When choosing “the one” a female penguin knows better than to fall for the first nerd who waddles up and honks. She holds out for the fittest suitor available, which, in Antarctica, means one tubby enough to sit for weeks on her newly hatched eggs without starving to death. Female scorpion flies are also fussy. They scorn unsymmetrical man-bugs and only flirt with invertebrate lovers who have well-matched wings. Ladybugs opt for males who are most masterful at killing prey and bringing home the bacon.
So, if penguins and flies don’t settle, why should you? The reasons are many—and often bizarre. Frequently, your settling for life in the froggery has to do with your own loneliness or need for support. Maybe it’s just because you want easy sex. Or perhaps you enjoy having a slave who, although he or she is not up to your standards, will do anything for you.
Many people get into a relationship they’re all excited about at first. Perhaps it’s happened to you. You meet someone. He or she is stimulating and fun to be with. So you start thinking about a long-term relationship. 
Then little by little you begin discovering your partner’s nasty little habits. He or she tells a lie, cheats, or passes gas in public. The disappointments pile up on you one by one, and you begin to realize this is not the ideal mate you once hoped he or she would be. Perhaps you keep telling yourself things will change and your partner will become Mr. or Ms. Right. But deep down you know you’re kidding yourself. Time passes and you do nothing about it.
Sometimes, when you’re feeling low, you tell yourself you won’t find anyone better. Then when it hits you that this person doesn’t live up to your standards, you kick yourself, knowing you should make the move. But you don’t. Why? Because although on a conscious level you feel worthy of a wondrously fulfilling relationship with a world-class partner, on a subconscious level you’re telling yourself a very different story.

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