Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Happy Hot New Year!!

Hello everyone!  Welcome to Hot Man Diet, the 2008 edition!!  I hope this entry finds ya’ll happy, healthy and not too hungover.  I myself am delighted to be all of the above…the latter is a particular accomplishment, as I consumed MUCH bubbly last night.  (Aahh, champagne…elixir of the gods…liquid diamond…class in a glass…sigh…) 
So, I totally had an entry all prepped and ready to go yesterday when my life kind of erupted into crazy busy-ness, and I couldn’t find time to make the finishing touches in order to post the damn thing.  Thank goodness for that, because it was a snorer!  Ya’ll know I’m not afraid to call a spade a spade, and this spade says that particular piece of “writing” was a craptacular mess, all earnest resolution and introspective hoo haa.  Last night, maybe four bubblies in, I decided that this was not the time for such heartfelt emoting.  Let’s start this year the HMD way - instead of heartfelt, I say we go Hotfelt!!!
You with me?
This is a new year.  We have new goals, new resolutions, new gifts, new debt, new everything.  For myself, I know I’ve got some serious shite to do asap!  So how, HOW could I send you all out into this new world without some serious HOT MANSPIRATION?!?!?  I cannot!  Her Hotness would not be doing her job, she would be forsaking her name and lot in life (you want Hot, I provide Hot…it’s that simple!)  No, my beauties, no.  I would never be so cruel as to deny you of needed Manjoyment.  I’ve scanned the archives and carefully selected the best pics from 2007 to help us kick off 2008.  Here we go…let’s bring out the Hotness!
Aahh, Brad Pitt.  You’re here for my grandmother, who thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread or Carey Grant, depending on when you axe her.  Oh, and you’re also here cause you’re Hot!  I cannot deny it, I cannot ignore it, I shall simply Manjoy it.
 Simon Baker in all his glory…what care I for food when there is such a Hot Man in this world?!
Hot Man Simon Baker
I drool over this pic.  I’ve hauled it out a few times because of it’s exceptional ability to Manspire me.  Paul effing Walker.  The Man I Shouldn’t Love But Still Totally Love Because He’s Ridonkulously Gee-orgeous!  (You know, I think if Paul Walker ever met me he’d sock me in the face for all the grief I’ve given him…NOTE TO PAUL WALKER - If’n you meet me please don’t hit me!  I adore you!  I cannot help it.  I am at your mercy…just be kind…and then maybe we can go make out in a corner somewhere?)
Hot Man Paul Walker
What, arms?  What did you say, arms?  You’re speaking to me, I can totally tell, but please speak louder.  Taye Diggs, your arms are talking to me!  Tell them to come closer so that I can feel, I mean hear them better!  I need them to come here now and wrap tightly around me so that we can touch, I mean talk!  Now!  Arms of Taye Diggs, come here now!
Hot Man Taye Diggs
Shit!  Now I’ve got an entire chestal region talking to me!  Boris Kodjoe, it should be illegal for you to be naked.  Unless you’re with me.  I’m cereal.
Hot Man Boris Kodjoe
A classic Matty Mc pic.  Another one I’ve hauled out for repeated Manjoyment.  Sexy.  Hot!
Hot Man Matthew McConaughey
And last, but clearly not least…The Discovery of 2007…the best gift I got all year (save for that Target gift card, which rocks my world!)…a brand new piece of Manificence…the Hot Man to whom all other Hot Men are now compared…my favorite Hot Pic of 2007 - Gerard Butler. 
 Hot Man Gerard Butler
There are no words.  There are simply no words.  There is only Manspiration.  2008 is gonna be great!
Hello again, my lovely Hot Man Dieteers!  Have ye settled back into a normal, post-holiday state of affairs?  I myself am just getting back into the regular swing of things, as I had a houseguest this past week.  Yes, Her Hotness’ mother was in town to help ring in the new year, and while I love my mother, absolutely adore her, I say with no hesitation that it is NOT a good idea to have a houseguest immediately following a trip of your own (particularly when one’s “house” is as laughably small as mine).  And so I beg your forgiveness, HMD’ers, for I need another week to get back to some semblance of order before I can return to the diet portion of Hot Man Diet.  What does this mean for you?  Just like 2008’s first HMD entry, today is gonna be all about the Hot Men!  Heartfelt shall have to sit on the back burner and stew a smidge more…Hotfelt is taking over today’s menu!
(By the way, I know I am kidding myself in thinking that this focus on Hot Men is a hardship for ya’ll in any way…I am not stupid…I know that most of you tune in for the pics of the pecs instead of my ”oh my god, I lost one pound!” rantings…the only person who reads this site strictly for the Leah info is my mother…she doesn’t even look at the pics…and while I DO NOT understand how one can ignore such Hotness, I do know that she loves me, so whatevs…I guess what I’m saying is enjoy the pictures, you uncaring bastards!)
(Just kidding!)
Last week’s entry was a compilation of the best HMD pics from 2007.  (If you haven’t read it you must do so immediately…it is an epic work of effing brilliance!)  Today’s leg of the Manspiration Marathon takes a different approach.  I am not above admitting that sometimes…occasionally…every once in a blue moon I make a mistake.  I am only one woman, after all, one woman committed to providing the Hottest Hotness the world can offer.  But again, I must admit that sometimes I screw the Hotness.  Screw up the Hotness, I mean, either by posting a less than stellar picture or by paying less than appropriate attention to the Manificence at hand.  I have addressed and corrected Hot Man David Beckhamsuch egregious pictorial issues before…I am here today to do so again.  I’ve got five Hot Men who deserve a second HMD moment in the sun - sit back, relax and Manjoy!
We begin part two of our Manspiration Marathon with an uber-Hot David Beckham shot.  How he’s only appeared on HMD one time is beyond even me…he’s filthy Hot, sexy Hot, superbly athletically built Hot (save for all the injuries), tatted up Hot and Brit Hot, all at the same stinking time!!  How is there such a man?!?!  Seriously, how?!?!?
Hot Man Patrick DempseyAahh, McDreamy.  Just like Becks, your HMD shout out came courtesy of the Father’s Day tribute to Hot Dads.  You deserve more!  You almost single handedly revitalized the post-Clooney wasteland known as the Hot TV Doc, making surgery sexy for us all over again.  You kept us glued to the TV every Sunday (then Thursday) night, and until Gray’s just completely fell apart this year it was our favorite hour of the week.  Because of you.  Just you.  Okay…maybe you and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.  But then he died, so it was just you again.  Sigh…
So, Clive Owen may seem a bit out of place here.  A Hot Manspiration from the Hot Man Clive Owenearly days, he has taken his rightful place in the pantheon of Hot Brits We Love (there are SO many!).  So why him again?  Well, I wasn’t totally in love with the pic I used of him…I don’t think it really illustrated the sheer force of him, the ferocity of his sexuality.  (Yes, I do mean ferocity….have you seen Closer?  That is two hours worth of ferocious sexuality courtesy of Clive Owen…poor Jude Law, nobody even noticed he was there…perhaps it was a bit of mercurial Hollywood payback, for just as Jude stole The Talented Mr. Ripley from Matt Damon, so did Clive completely steal Closer from him…)  Anyhoo, I just think this pic is better, more indicative of the brooding darkness of his Hotness.  Look at him…so pensive…so deep…and all you can do is cross your fingers and hope that he’s thinking, even a little bit, about you…
Johnny Depp is another member of the Hot Dad tribute team and another HMD photo op Hot Man Johnny Deppgone horribly wrong.  That pic did him no justice, but in setting about to find one that did pay appropriate homage to Captain Jack I found myself in a bit of a pickle.  I am not the hugest Johnny Depp fan…I think him wonderfully talented, don’t get me wrong, and undeniably Hot, but something about the ever-present quirkiness prevents me from truly falling for him.  So I tried to imagine what pic a true Depp-ian would want to see on HMD.  I came up with this one.  I hope ya’ll like it…it definitely embraces everything that is present day Johnny Depp - the tats, the weird headgear, the jewelry.  I am much more fond of this pic, but I think I might be Tiger Beat-ing him up too much.  What do you guys think?  Which of the two does it for ya?
We conclude this Manspiration Marathon with the most egregious pictorial issue of all - HMD has featured only one picture of Djimon Hounsou…and he was fully clothed!!  What the hell?!?!  He has the kind of body that makes grown men blush, so perfect in its definition, all smooth and silky chocolate goodness, just outrageous, just unreal, just…so…HOT!  Oh my god!!  You know, I say it all the time, but there are moments when I understand with crystal effing clarity that nothing tastes as good as a Hot Man feels…this is one of them!  What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty, mighty Hot Man!!!
Hot Man Djimon Hounsou

Oy!  Kids, HMD’ers, I cannot tell a lie - Her Hotness is hurting, hurting something fierce. Hot Man Tyson Beckford I’m hung!  I am already late for work and am willing to give my first born to anyone who brings me a freaking cup of coffee!!  (I haven’t any milk in the house and I only take my coffee like I take my men - light and sweet)  Yesterday was beautiful here in SoCal, and I was a model Hot Man Dieteer for the first half of it - went for a long walk in the early morn with a good friend, went for a long bike ride near the beach with two other good peeps, met up with a few more kids at one of our fave Venice spots to watch the Giants beat Tony Romo and Co., had a self-imposed 7 pm curfew so I could get home and be a responsible adult for a few pre-workweek hours, told myself I’d stick to two beers minimum, all that good stuff.
Yeah right!
You don’t wanna know the deets (and I can barely remember them), but suffice it to say Venice was teeming with Hot Manspirations galore and I was unable to pull myself away from the allure of the ever-present Hotness…also, I just have to admit that I’m a certified freaking party girl and I REFUSE to voluntarily remove myself from the good times, good times…because let’s face it - what good is sitting alone in your room?  Why don’t we go and hear the music play?  ‘Cause life is a cabaret, people, and I will never leave the cabaret!!!
Hot Manspiration of the Week:  Tyson Beckford.  Jesus, he’s Hot.  I need some aspirin.   
Jan 17
Hot Cops Posted by Leah
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?  Whatcha gonna do when they come for you…
Did you ever have one of those days when you felt completely consumed by the power of your own sexuality?  When you felt as if your body was emitting strobe light sensors from your alert and yearning nethers to the outside world like so many unspoken pick up lines?  When every move had a meaning, every touch had a tingle, and it had nothing to do with how you looked or what you wore or where you were?  And your words, when spoken, were liquid heat ensnaring innocent passersby in your random web of seduction?
Yesterday was that kind of day for me.  I dunno what it was or where it came from, but I was a walking time bomb of barely bridled sexual energy.  Luckily, it was a work day that found me wearing a less than flattering t-shirt, jeans and sneakers combo, else the whole of Long Beach might have been notched on my bedpost this morning.   Who was the first gent to find himself smack dab in the middle of my unbearable lightness of being?  A Hot Cop.
Aaah, the Hot Cop.  He doesn’t get nearly as much attention as the Hot Doc or the Hot Fireman, but we love him nonetheless.  I remember the Hot Cop who arrested me lo those many years ago - a story I ONLY tell over cocktails…so if’n you want to hear it just email me at and name the time and place…and yes, YOU’RE buying the drinks! - he was so nice and kind, even while he was cuffing me, and had I been in better spirits I might have made a move…sigh…
And so it is that today I pay homage to the Hot Men in Blue by honoring the best and Hottest of their tv counterparts.  To be sure, there are a staggering amount of Hot TV Cops…seeing as how I am unable to pick my top three (hell, even narrowing the field to ten seems an impossible task!), I have decided that Hot Cops shall be a recurring HMD entry…not on a weekly or monthly basis, but whene’er the mood strikes, whene’er Her Hotness needs a good frisking, Hot Cops shall be there!
We begin with the Law & Order trifecta, because they are the mac daddy and daddy mac of cop shows.  Ladies and gentleman, I give you Hot Cops, Part One.  Enjoy!
The Swagger
Hot Man Chris NothBack when Law & Order was gritty and young and unconcerned with Hot, Chris Noth was still Hot.  All cocksure bravura and New York attitude, he set the tone for all future L & O Hot Cops to come.  That he achieved much greater fame as Carrie’s Mr. Big is of no concern to me, for Chris has come the full L & O circle and is now making busts on Criminal Intent.  That he had/has a penchant for dating ladies of color only adds to his allure…add to that the fact that I stood behind him in line at a deli in the East Village during his first L & O tour of duty and was stunned to find him overwhelmingly tall and handsome in person…my hands were so clammy from nerves my tuna sandwich was ruined…but my heart was aflutter…Hot, Hot, Hot!
The Body
Hot Man Christopher MeloniChristopher Meloni is a tremendously talented actor.  He is also built like a brick effing house.  He has one of those bodies that, when clothed, seems to be of an average build, with average musculature and average looks.  HA!  He has an INCREDIBLE body, cut and chiseled and pumped and ripped and lo-ver-ley!!!!  And so Christopher Meloni, star of L & O Special Victims Unit, is a tremendously talented actor who also happens to be super smoking HOT!  Me likey!!
The Bratt
Hot Man Benjamin BrattThis is not Benjamin Bratt’s first HMD shout-out.  An early Request and Dedication, his Hotness has been duly noted and enjoyed by all of us here at Hot Man Diet.  His Law & Order stint was reassuring proof that the role of Sidekick to Jerry Orbach would remain fittingly Noth-ified, aka Hot.  The missing swagger he replaced with grace, the cockiness with gravitas and a strong moral compass (until that affair…oooh, remember that affair he had in LA with the soon-to-be Lorelai Gilmore?!).  Throughout it all, of course, he was Hot.  Aaah yes, he was Hot!
The Brain
Hot Man Vincent D'OnofrioRemember when Her Hotness gave thanks for Smolderingly Sexy Character Actors?  Criminal Intent’s Vincent D’Onofrio falls in that category, no doubt about it.  My mother calls him The Weird One, but she can’t look away.  He is eerily intense, uncannily focused and super effing smart.  This is a case of Talent providing the Hotness.  Vincent was also a guest star on one of the BEST episodes of my personal all-time favorite cop show EVER - Homicide.  (Seriously, I freaking loved that show, it was SO GOOD it kept me glued to the tv on Friday nights when I was young and living in NYC and should have been partying…it was that good!)  Look it up, find it, rent it (if possible) TiVo it (I know some channel is playing Homicide reruns during the day) and enjoy the brilliance of this Hot Cop in action.
The Soul
Hot Man Jesse L. MartinThere is no denying that in the post-Orbach L & O years, Jesse L. Martin has become the soul of this show.  His prickly chemistry with S. Epatha Merkerson is the stuff that dreams are made of (especially when one is a young black actor desperately searching for signs of intelligent African American life on tv).  He is beautiful…look at that face!  Rent Rent and listen to that soaring voice!  The lips are perfect, the skin looks soft as all get out, the eyes make you die a little on the inside…the gentlest of the L & O brood also happens to be one of the Hottest…(and yes, I know of the many rumors that he plays for the other team…people, let me just state for the record that Hot is Hot, no matter the team, no matter the position…and this one is undeniably HOT!)
The Newbie
Somewhere along the line Jeremy Sisto pulled a Keanu Reeves on us.  He grew up and Hot Man Jeremy Sistofilled out, imbuing his once boyish, pretty frame with a full bodied masculinity only age can bring.  Gone are all signs of Elton “Rolling with the Homies” from the yes-I-still-think-it-is-brilliant-all-these-years-later Clueless.  Now…he’s a man.  A Hot Man.  And a Hot Cop, for Jeremy joined the L & O cast two weeks ago and has already brought this wandering fan back home again.  Ya’ll, he’s Hot!  He’s dark and gruff and still grieving for his dead brother and maybe still in love with his dead brother’s wife and he hurts on the inside, you know, but he’s a super talented cop and maybe a bit of a loose cannon but all he needs is a woman who understands him, right?  Right?!?!
The Other Newbie
Hot Man Linus RoacheYou’re probably sitting there thinking to yourself - who the hell is this?  But I’m sitting here thinking to myself - I gotta rent The Wings of the Dove super soon, because seeing Linus Roache as the new ADA on L & O reminded me of how much I freaking loved him in The Wings of the Dove, one of those fantastic, swooning period pieces that just absolutely made me lose my shit, what a great stinking movie that was, back when Helena Bonham Carter was still quite pretty, it was simply fabulous, this tale of three lovers caught up in greed and lust and money and maybe love…by the way, Hot Brit Linus Roache pulls off a pretty stellar New Yawk accent…check it out for yourself…
The Heart

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